Weird crushes. You know you have one, even if you're afraid to admit it.
Well, we're not; in fact, the weirder the better.
There's no room for Ryan Gosling, Idris Elba or Victoria's Secret Angels here – our freaky crushes are wrong, but we just can't help it.
See for yourself...
Huey Lewis
What do you mean, "Who?"
Huey Lewis of super cool '80s pop group Huey Lewis and The News, of course.
I was a chubby 8-year-old child in Cork city, he was a perma-tanned frontman from NYC.
He played harmonica, I played his tape so many times it caught light and almost started a small house fire.
He recorded No 1 hits like "The Power of Love" and "Happy to be Stuck With You" , I was asked to "just mime" the words to "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" in my school play.
Watch Huey and his adorable chin dimple in action here.
Katy Harrington, Managing Editor
Photo: Via Huey Lewis and The News Official Website
The Creepy Thin Man from Charlie's Angels
Look, I don't know the way my brain works, okay? Sure he had a hair fetish, screamed a bit, and was, y'know, an assassin for hire, but something drew me to the Thin Man.
The slicked-back hair? Maybe. The sharp suit? Sure. The silent, dangerous mystery? Probably. He saves Dylan (Drew Barrymore) from the hands of her psychotic ex-boyfriend, so hopefully this doesn't reflect too badly on my taste in men.
What's worrying is that I was 11 when Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle came out. Nick Carter is a normal crush for an 11-year-old. The Thin Man? Not so much. Ah well, no judgements please.
Georgia Murray, Fashion & Beauty Writer
Photo: Kobal/REX/Shutterstock
Max Branning
EastEnders bad boy. Absolute lothario.
Back in 2006, Max had an epic love affair with Stacey Slater – who just so happened to be his son’s fiancée at the time. I know. The drama. I feel this is maybe where it all began?
He struts the pavements of Albert Square, smoking all of the ciggies and getting himself into all sorts of trouble, all while eyeing up his next love interest.
But bless him, he really has been having a terrible time lately! Every single character on the show is out to get him, after months of cheating, scheming and lying; I should dislike him after the terrible antics but his crying face is just too much to handle. Maybe that’s what appeals: Max Branning, badass on the outside, softy on the inside? Or maybe it’s his bald head? The ginger stubble? Who knows (I have a feeling it’s the latter)...
Meg O'Donnell, Photo Assistant
Photo: BBC Pictures
Agent Jack Malone
I have a thing for men getting on a bit in life, much to the chagrin of my boyfriend who is a) younger than me and b) in possession of a thick and full head of hair. For me though, Anthony LaPaglia, aka Agent Jack Malone in now long-gone FBI drama Without A Trace is Mr. Number One.
Not only did Agent Jack Malone work tirelessly (often without sleep and to the detriment of his marriage) to find the kidnapped, murdered and abducted people of the New York Metropolitan Area, he was also the fearless leader (and therefore the best) of a team of highly intelligent and highly trained agents.
He had a tough exterior, keeping it together for the families of the victims, as well as being easily intimidating to potential suspects. But every so often, a case would hit him hard and we’d be able to see a tantalisingly brief glimpse of the erratic emotions beneath that hardboiled armour he’d worked so long to construct around him.
I wanted to fix Agent Jack Malone and his damaged psyche. I wanted him to take care of me and interrogate me all at the same time. The absolute clincher was that he had an affair with Agent Montgomery, who was much younger than him. She also had blonde hair so was basically me.
Jess Commons, Health & Living Editor
Photo: Snap Stills/REX/Shutterstock
Kristoff from Frozen
Yes, I know he's not real.
Yes, I am acutely aware that I'm lusting after a glorified drawing.
Yes, it has been brought to my attention many times that I am not and will never be a Disney Princess.
Let's set the scene. I was 21 when Frozen came out and therefore, according to my mum, far too old to get excited over Disney films. But having discovered and completely rinsed "Let It Go" on YouTube, I was determined to find a socially acceptable way to indulge my inner child without being that creepy man sitting alone in the cinema, surrounded by families with young children – so I dragged my cousin's reluctant 5-year-old daughter to the theatre with me.
Kristoff is a complete reflection of everything I like in my flesh and blood blokes. A rugged, masculine exterior concealing a squishy, gooey, chocolatey centre. From the first instant, voice actor Jonathan Groff's reassuring tones weaved a hypnotic spell, which even allowed me to overlook the pear-shaped, square-shaped weirdness of his feet. Guess I'm a sucker for a fixer-upper!
I've spoken to several of my friends and they seem to have a thing for Kristoff too, so it's definitely not just me (he adds hastily). No judge.
David Farrell, Performance Marketing Executive
Photo: Moviestore/REX/Shutterstock
Colonel Worf
I am not a Klingon woman, but I always had a thing for the hirsute and handsome (if you can overlook the corrugated forehead) Colonel Worf from Star Trek.
Most girls my age had a thing for the weedy Wesley Crusher, whom Worf could have
snapped like a twig, but Worf had sex appeal, the deep voice, the height and the facial hair.
As well as wanting to spoon with him, I also felt strangely proud of Worf. He was also the first Klingon to join Starfleet and went on to become the most influential Klingon from his home planet (Qo’nos).
And then there was that acerbic wit. When he was asked "What do I have to do to convince you that I'm human?" Worf replied: "Die." Klingon lolz right there.
Katy Harrington, Managing Editor
Photo: Granger/REX/Shutterstock
Gordon Ramsay
I think it's all the swearing. And the aggression without the violence.
I've just realised how concerning that sounds...
Moving on. Mostly, I'd love to get into a heated argument with him, just to see if I could keep up with his insults. "You fucking donkey", "My gran could do better! And she's dead!" and "You're about as consistent as pigeon shit in Trafalgar Square" are some of my favourites.
His no-nonsense attitude and ability to completely destroy arrogant amateur American chefs in Hell's Kitchen USA is very attractive, and they make entertaining YouTube compilation videos. Obviously and most importantly, he can cook, because God knows I can't, which is why we'd make the perfect team.
Louise Whitbread, Editorial Intern
Photo: ITV/REX/Shutterstock
Armando Iannucci
I’m a sucker for sarcasm and political satire. To be honest, I’m a complete nerd, so it makes sense that I’d be drawn to people with a brainpower that can make me keel over from laughing. Armando Iannucci – the brains behind The Thick Of It, Veep, Alan Partridge, In the Loop, The Armando Iannucci Shows(I could go on) – is one such man.
My passion is such that I recently watched a talk he gave at the Oxford Union during a flight at 5am – thank you, British Airways in-flight entertainment! I listen to every podcast interview he gives without fail, if only to hear his delectable Scottish accent. The Scottish-Italian satirist and titan of film, TV and radio is everything I want in a man. An acerbic wit and side-splittingly hilarious sense of humour. An intellect that knows no bounds (he’s just written a book about classical music, don'tcha know). And a calming, velvety voice to boot. (Watch one of my favourite clips here if you don’t believe me. Just ignore the hairy back...)
Natalie Gil, News Writer
Photo: Tim P. Whitby/Getty Images
Richard Osman
It's me again. Weird crush number three is human encyclopaedia, Richard Osman.
I fell for him when he started hosting Pointless, a quiz show that rewards obscure knowledge with trophies.
Pointless appeals as I am both competitive and a font of useless knowledge, which makes me excellent to be with during a game of Trivial Pursuit, but awful to be with in every other situation in life.
Pointless ' host appeals to me because he's 6'7" and has a face the size of a Smeg fridge.
Katy Harrington, Managing Editor
Photo: John Phillips/Getty Images
Samantha Cameron
I remember seeing Sam Cam on the news about five years ago and thinking, 'Hang on, she's not bad'. I texted a friend immediately and he thought it hilarious. Why though?
Let me explain. First off the bat – those eyes. They look like they'd forgive a multitude of sins, then commit a multitude more.
Maybe it's her slightly equine features, her height (she looks tall to me), the idea of shagging our former PM's wife (would I really go where David Cameron's been, though? Maybe, out of spite). Maybe I'm having some sort of misplaced Lancelot and Guinevere fantasy situation, or possibly she just reminds me of the posh birds you meet at uni.
Zanny Ali, Content Manager
Photo: David M. Benett/Getty Images
Uncle Phil
100% Electra complex crush.
Obviously I fancied Will in Fresh Prince of Bel Air, but truth be told, I also had a soft spot for Uncle Phil – the judge, the big man, the guy with the life lessons.
There was something about those furious popping eyes, those cardigan tank tops, those wide-leg beige chinos, those big, big hands. In addition to his becoming casual knitwear, he wore a suit with serious swag, coming back from tough days in the courtroom to deliver hard lessons to his wayward family.
Uncle Phil... the alpha male.
Molly Raymond, Intern
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