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"No," you tell yourself. "I can't."
Your eyes don't want to open and last night's mascara has congealed into two immovable clumps, which certainly isn't helping the cause. But you don't have a choice, my weak and vulnerable friend, it is time. It's time to wake up and address the throb in your temples and that disconcerting lurch in your stomach. A slow, white wine-induced death is not an option today. The hangover helpline does not yet exist; it's all up to you now, pal.
And so you mentally assess the options before you. Do you a) ignore your body's cry for help and try to sleep it off, b) beg your most empathetic mate to bring supplies to your bedside or c) shower, get dressed, go outside and face the day like a functioning adult person?
Well, you couldn't go back to sleep if you wanted to because hangovers never play a fair game. Your mate is probably in as much of a mess as you are and thus unwilling to help you out, and lol, as if leaving the house is an option.
The furthest one can reasonably go while nursing the nausea, pain and regret of the night before, is putting a film on. You don't want to go pressing play on any old thing, though. Now is not a time for risks. Oh, no. You specifically need the comforting lull of a vaguely familiar movie to ease you back to normality. The next couple of hours of entertainment are a huge investment of your time and we're here to make sure you spend it well.
Team Refinery29 have recommended hangover viewing to share. Ahead you'll find our sincere and well informed recommendations of where to turn in your cinematic time of need, the films we've put on when we've been a little worse for wear. Brave the trip to the kitchen and get that crucial glass of water now. Then, nestle a little further under your duvet, get your Deliveroo order lined up and whack one of these films on. You'll forget last night even happened. Probably...
Jazmin Kopotsha, Entertainment Editor
My hangover film is: Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Why did you choose it? The morning after requires comfort and familiarity – enter the most watched film of my childhood. CCBB is long enough for you to take a restorative snooze between the best songs ("Hushabye Mountain" and "Posh!") and, worst case scenario, the Child Catcher will terrify your hangover out of you.
Georgia Murray, Fashion & Beauty Writer
My hangover film is: About Time
Why did you choose it? When I'm hungover I want to be taken on an emotional rollercoaster, and About Time does just that. I love Rachel McAdams, fancy Domhnall Gleeson and am not immune to Bill Nighy's charm, so the lineup is pitch perfect. It's cheesy and predictable but I am a sucker for Richard Curtis films and I don't care who knows it.
Nina Joyce, PR Director
My hangover film is: Princess Diaries
Why did you choose it? Who hasn't necked six pints of Stella, lost a shoe on the way home and woken up with their eyes crusted shut from mascara after a night out? If that might ring a bell, I highly recommend a fantasy dive into Mia Thermopolis' life, where you can pretend you might be an undiscovered heir to a small principality in Europe awaiting a makeover, rather than a fully grown woman who took 12 onion rings to bed the night before.
Charlotte Gush, Fashion Editor
My hangover film is: The Life Aquatic
Why did you choose it? Strange and beautiful things happen, profound ideas about the human psyche are arrived at in very silly ways. Even the bits that sound tense on paper – pirate attack, gunfire, a kidnapping – don’t stress you out. Wes Anderson’s signature clipped dialogue, comedic seriousness and swift pace neutralise the stress and weight that can otherwise harsh your cosy-but-fragile hangover vibe. And Anjelica Huston’s in it; the filmic equivalent of several retrospective glasses of water.
David Farrell, Performance Marketing Executive
My hangover film is: Mulan
Why did you choose it? "The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of them all." That’s one of my favourite film quotes ever. Of course, when you’re hungover you may feel more like a cow pat than a flower, but if Mulan can defeat the Huns, save China and face down the disapproval of society, then you really can get through today.
Katy Thompsett, Sub Editor
My hangover film is: Sex & The City
Why did you choose it? There's gentle – and I mean gentle – comedy: Samantha, naked and covered in sushi. There's nostalgia: a shameless tour through Carrie’s closet, culminating in her season 1 vest and tutu combo. There's heartbreak: Charlotte screaming "NO!" at Big on the streets of NYC gets me every time. There's a genuinely happy ending: Miranda and Steve getting back together (c’mon, you know I’m right). All the feels, none of the brainpower. Perfect.
Katy Harrington, Managing Editor
My hangover film is: Any period drama
Why did you choose it? You've probably read the book/know the plot already, so there is no uncertainty, and hangovers hate uncertainty. Try: S ense & Sensibility, the Carey Mulligan version of Tess of the d'Urbervilles or Keira Knightley's Pride & Prejudice.
Kara Kia, Editorial Intern
My hangover film is: Heathers
Why did you choose it? I am a huge #winonaforever fan so anything with the queen of '90s alternative youth culture is a form of meditation for me. Even on a desperate hangover day. How very.
Meg O'Donnell, Junior Art Editor
Hy hangover film is: Bridesmaids
Why did you choose it? I've seen this film approximately 756 times and yet it makes me cry with laughter every single time I watch it. Kristen Wiig is my spiritual hangover guardian angel, every film/ SNL YouTube vid I watch of hers while on my deathbed brings me back to life (in the style of Evanescence).
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