Welcome to Money Diaries, where we're tackling what might be the last taboo facing modern working women: money. We're asking a cross-section of women how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period – and we're tracking every last penny.
This week we're with a 31-year-old working part-time as an editor after having a child.
"Since buying our house together and having a baby, mine and my other half’s finances have become a lot more fluid. He’s always earned more than me but since reducing my hours following maternity leave, we’ve realised it doesn’t really matter which bank account purchases come out of. Having said that, we still have our separate accounts and pay into our joint account to cover shared household costs. We weight it at about a 60/40 split. This suits me because I think I would feel guilty spending money on myself if we just pooled it all into a joint account. And OH is fine to add more money into the joint account if things are looking tight or just pay outright for stuff as a treat.
It’s been quite tough adjusting to having a child, both financially and socially. We’ve always been sensible because we spent years saving for our house deposit, but we used to eat out quite a bit. As we don’t have any family within a four-hour drive, these days it’s mainly just a takeaway treat once a week. We go out separately, but don’t get to enjoy just each other’s company that often anymore. It’s like a huge game of Tetris making sure we don’t double-book ourselves and that someone is always there to pick up/drop off the child.
And just to add to the stress, we’re also in the process of extending our one-bedroom flat to two bedrooms, which has cost so much money it makes me weep. But I’m very much looking forward to having the child sleeping in another room soon (and a shiny new kitchen)!"
Industry: Content editor for a travel website
Age: 31
Location: London (very very southwest London)
Salary: £25,500 – I work 28 hours a week. OH is on £53,000.
Paycheque amount: £1,535. OH gets £2,790. This accounts for tax, NI, student loans and childcare vouchers being deducted.
Number of housemates: Two, OH and the toddler child.
Monthly Expenses
Housing costs: Our mortgage is £720 a month, but we make overpayments. So £1,000 a month.
Loan payments: I always have a 0% interest credit card on the go, which is mostly used for household purchases (food shopping and booking holidays) and we have a standing order from our joint account for £150 paying things off every month. I then cover ad-hoc purchases I make for myself from my own account. OH also has a credit card, which he predominantly uses for work purposes. We’ve also borrowed some money from my dad to help with the building costs. This will be paid back once we’ve sold the house. Very grateful to him as it means we don’t have to worry about the interest on a loan.
Utilities: £300 (council tax, gas, electric, water, internet, TV licence).
Transportation: I do pay as you go. My daily cap is £11.60, which I reach on the days I work. It means I spend around £180 a month. Car tax and insurance is £45 a month.
Phone bill: £15.50 a month (SIM only).
Savings? I try to put away £200 a month, but often have to dip back into it by about £50 each month. Definitely two steps forward and one step back. OH is in the process of spending all his savings on the building work. I pay nothing towards my pension, so I just get my employer contribution money. Very scary.
Other? Approximately £800 on nursery fees for the child (£486 is paid by our childcare vouchers, and the rest is paid out of our joint account). Also £48 on the gym. I really weighed up this decision as I can only use it three times a week maximum due to my working hours. But it does really motivate me to actually exercise at lunch. We use OH’s parents’ login for Netflix.
Day One
3am: The child stirs and won’t go back down without a fight so OH plonks him in bed between us. The child immediately goes back to sleep.
6am: Alarm goes off and I’m so groggy I have to check my phone to remember what day it is and where I’m meant to be. OH gets up with the child and I lie in bed for 10 minutes feeling like I’ve been wrenched from a deep, deep sleep.
I get showered and do my hair (brown, mid-length – the classic 'mum' do. I used to have it highlighted, but once I got back to work after mat leave, I decided I couldn’t justify the £100 to get it done, nor did I want to spend my precious free time sat in a chair for four hours reading magazines. So I dyed it all back to my natural mousy brown colour and accepted my inevitable wallflower fate.)
Leave the house to catch the train into Victoria. From Victoria, I catch a bus up to the office. Get in for about 7.50am. Immediately make a tea and check my emails. £6.70
9am: I keep my breakfast at work, so have a bowl of cereal and a vitamin drink because I feel pretty rough still. Our work also provides free fruit, so I have some grapes and a nectarine to keep me going until lunch.
12pm: We have a work social this afternoon. Sit through a company meeting then head to Chipotle with my colleague. He is the king of free meals and we have a 2-4-1 voucher today, but I pay for the two of us because he bought the last one. We both have beef rice bowls. £7.40
5pm: The event has been fun and I’ve not spent a penny because the company has picked up the tab. Although the end of the social is definitely not in sight (a brave attempt at Whitney Houston on the karaoke is currently in full swing), unfortunately, OH is at an exhibition that doesn’t finish until 6pm, which means I’m on nursery pick-up, so I begrudgingly leave. Feel a pang of remorse over my parental responsibilities and lack of freedom, but can’t dwell too long because I have to scoot down to London Bridge to catch my train. Pop into M&S on the way to buy some flavoured water (£1.10) to rehydrate me from a) the glorious warm weather and fast pace I’ve had to adopt to get me to the station on time and b) the couple of gin and tonics I had during the social. London looks stunning in the sunshine and cheers me up a lot. Make my train with plenty of time to spare. £4.50
7.30pm: Child is fed and in bed with minimal drama. I put a jacket potato in the oven for OH, and I have the dregs of a can of beans on toast. Check out the progress of the kitchen fitting and watch Grand Designs with a cup of tea. WhatsApp messages roll in from the work besties who are absolutely hammered. I’m in bed by 10pm.
Total: £19.70
Day Two
1am: The child insists on getting in our bed. Too tired to resist.
7am: It’s my day off and I have no alarm set. The child usually doesn’t care and gets me up at 6am anyway, but today I’m treated to a 7am lie-in and a snuggle. Sort of makes up for the bed invasion.
We get up and have some breakfast. The builders will be on site at 8am, so I need to make sure I’m up and dressed before then as the bathroom is currently missing a wall and things could get awkward. The child is engrossed in CBeebies and his toy cars, so I take the opportunity to put a wash on and get some beef shin in the slow cooker so we can have Malaysian curry for tea.
9am: I have to take the car to the garage (no charge because it’s a recall from Nissan for the airbags). Drop it off and take the child to the nearby park while we wait. Then head to the retail park down the road for super important house research with strictly no purchasing. Give myself a pat on the back for spending no money, even though the end of the build is tantalisingly close. Once the kitchen is in next week, however, I’m going to go nuts buying candles and pretty storage baskets.
12.45am: Having just spent an exasperating hour trying to get the child down for his nap, I’m now starving and pretty livid. Usually, I use the child’s nap time to do chores but given the building work, I can’t see much point cleaning until later tomorrow. Instead, I eat eggs and soldiers and watch daytime TV while writing a shopping list and catching up on my WhatsApp messages. The work besties are dissecting the night and sound very sorry for themselves – it’s a good reality check and I’m incredibly glad I’m not hungover right now (and at work! Ha!).
3pm: The child is awake and we’re off out to run some errands. I have some online clothes returns to drop at the post office – I never have time to actually go to shops, so I order stuff and it inevitably doesn’t fit or doesn’t look at all like the picture, so a lot of time is spent repackaging and sending back. Also whizz around Sainsbury’s for some essentials for the weekend: fruit, milk, bread, yoghurts, cereal and overpriced children’s 'healthy' snacks. Somehow it costs £25.15.
5pm: The builders have gone early today so I take advantage of being in my own house in peace. Decide to bake some cakes with the child. The child displays zero interest in this activity and goes to play with his cars. Secretly chuffed by this turn of events, I have a relaxing half an hour baking and cleaning up the kitchen. Get a text from my mum friends to say they’re heading to the pub for a quick one. I’m in.
7.30pm: After an hour wrangling three toddler boys while trying to enjoy the lovely warm evening and a bottle of pinot grigio, the dads begin to arrive to relieve us of duty. OH and I manage another round before sensing an impending revolt from the child, so hotfoot it back home for bedtime. We eat the curry and are in bed at 10.30pm having discussed our strategy for keeping the child in his own bed tonight. Somehow spent nothing at the pub – I definitely owe the first round next time.
Total: £25.15
Day Three
7am: Said strategy works and we’re treated to the second lie-in of the week! It’s Saturday, so I get up with him and leave OH to have an even longer sleep.
Once OH is up, I go out for a run. Although our long commute is a big drawback of living out on the Surrey border, the surrounding area does make for some really lovely running routes. Slight catch, it’s also quite hilly – 30 minutes is usually all I can manage.
Get home to find OH has mopped the floors and washed up. Win.
10am: Walk down to the local park to give the child some vitamin D and a runaround. Pop into the café and get a couple of smoothies because #health. £6.90
12pm: The child is napping and we eat a banquet of fish finger sandwiches and cupcakes while watching the royal wedding and putting together the kitchen units the builders need to fit next week.
3pm: Out to a local petting farm to keep the child’s cabin fever at bay. It’s free to enter, but they ask for donations. We realise we don’t have much cash, so put £3 in the donation box and buy two cans of Diet Coke for £2. The child shows minimal interest in the animals, but he does go up and down the slide on loop for about 20 minutes.
8.30pm: The child’s in bed and I’ve done chicken kievs, chips and mushy peas for tea. We usually get a takeaway on one of the weekend nights, but as we don’t get paid until next week, I decide we’ll be frugal.
OH is still fiddling around with kitchen units. I decide to do a little online browsing. Buy some bea-uuu-tiful shelf brackets I’ve had my eye on for ages (£12.50 a pair x 2) and a WC sign (£6.99) for the door. Deeply aware of my double standards. Put it on my credit card because it’s totally a household purchase.
We attempt to watch the 9pm film, The Martian. Make it to 10.30pm before throwing in the towel. We’ve seen it before anyway.
Total: £43.89
Day Four
7.30am: The child stays in his bed until 6am, gets into ours and thrashes around for 30 minutes until OH gets up with him. I fall back asleep for another 45 minutes – clearly tired from yesterday’s busyness. Have a lazy morning eating breakfast, watching TV and doing some chores while OH goes for a run.
11am: Head across to Croydon (£2 on the train) as there’s a free soft play in the shopping centre (you just have to buy a drink) and the plan is to tire the child out so he sleeps while we attempt lunch out.
Plans are immediately scuppered when we discover the soft play isn’t open. Decide to head to Boxpark – a street food court made out of shipping containers – as there’s plenty of space for the child to run around. Spend 30 minutes taking it in turns to chase him up and down in the hope of exhausting him.
1pm: Success! The child’s out for the count. I order some sushi (£8) and OH buys a burger for himself (£8.50) and some chicken wings (£6) to share, plus our drinks (£5.50). Then, as though he senses the possibility of a sugar fix, the child wakes after only 45 minutes to help us eat our frozen yoghurts (£5).
I pop into M&S on the way back to the station to buy some new bras. After having the child, my ribcage has permanently expanded (nobody tells you these things before you have kids!) so I've had to throw out all my bras and start from scratch. I’ve been surviving on a couple of everyday ones since the new year. But as summer’s now in full swing, I’m breaking out clothes with necklines that need something more than your average T-shirt bra. Buy three new ones to meet various clothing demands and replenish my stock. Spend £45.50. Catch train home, £2.
Have a quick pit stop at Sainsbury’s to buy more bread and some ready meals – not a usual item on our shopping list as I cook from scratch most nights, but we’ll have a couple of days’ disruption between the old kitchen being demolished and the new kitchen being fully operational at some point this week. Balk at the cost of ready meals. £10.90
3pm: I take the child on a trip to the park while OH does some more kitchen-related activities. The child falls and scrapes his knee so I make him a daisy-chain crown to distract him.
7pm: With a G&T in hand, I have a mega cookathon preparing tonight and tomorrow’s dinners, and also my lunches for the week. The child has an epic tantrum before bed because OH took his socks off (read: he is overtired from only having a 45-minute nap). OH and I then have an argument about plug sockets. Eat chicken shawarma and salad wraps and watch Jurassic Park: A New World in silence. In bed for 10.30pm.
Total: £93.40
Day Five
6am: Alarm goes off. Remember to pack gym bag and lunch for the week. Catch train into Victoria and a bus from there to the office. Read book. £6.70
7.50am: Arrive at work. Slightly dreading the state of my inbox after 3.5 days out of the office. Have my customary cup of tea. I’ll eat my cereal in about an hour once I’ve caught up.
12pm: I’ve managed to dodge all the treats brought in from colleagues this morning and stuck to the free fruit. Head out for a lunchtime swim. My gym is a leisure centre, so there’s an interesting mix of people who think they’re Michael Phelps and pensioners. Manage 30 minutes before the pool gets unbearably crowded, then wash my hair so I don’t have to bother at home. Back at my desk after exactly an hour to eat my reheated halloumi, roasted veg and couscous. I’ve spent £0.20 on the locker. As if I don’t spend enough on my membership already.
4.15pm: A gazillion cups of tea later and I’m leaving the office. Last week my team had to do overtime so our manager told us to leave early one day this week. I’m using it as an opportunity to take my camera into Jessops as it stopped turning on about a month ago and I have no idea what’s wrong. Jessops man tries different batteries and says the camera doesn’t seem to be recognising the connection. I can send it off for £25 and then they’ll tell me what the issue is and how much it’ll cost to repair. Curses. Pay the money because the camera was my 30th birthday present and I love it a lot. Hopefully it won’t cost a bomb to fix.
Head to Victoria for my train home and to pick up the child from nursery. Get an email en route from said nursery to say we have an outstanding balance of £225.20 on our account. Looks like OH’s company hasn’t paid his childcare vouchers, again. Text OH to chase it up and reply to the nursery accounts lady in a cheerful tone to tell her it’ll be sorted by the end of the week. Hopefully that will appease her. £4.70
6pm: I’m starving, so while the child is eating his tea, I secretly eat one of the cupcakes in the kitchen so he doesn’t see me and want one too.
9pm: Stressful evening getting the child to bed with lots of screaming and tears. Glad I’d marinated the beef for our dinner yesterday so it only takes 10 minutes to put the stir fry together. Watch TV even though we feel like we should probably do some jobs on the kitchen. Bed at 10pm.
Total: £36.60
Day Six
6am: Alarm goes off. The child has managed to soak himself through his nappy last night and his pyjamas are sodden. He’s not a happy bunny.
I’m on nursery drop-off this morning. The earliest we can leave him is 7.30am, and we’re always there on the dot in order to catch our morning trains. We can’t then get to him until 6pm, so it’s a long day for my little man. Head straight to the station for my train. Get into the office for 8.45am. £6.70
12pm: Another trip to the gym at lunch, another £0.20 on the locker. Eat the second portion of my halloumi, veg and couscous.
6pm: Leave office after another busy day. Tube and then train home. Get a picture message from OH of him and the child having a picnic tea in the garden. Wish I could be home sooner to join in. Text back lots of emoji hearts. £4.70
10pm: Another bedtime meltdown from the child. Joy.
OH is on dinner duty, so we have pizza and chips. Can’t wait to be properly in the new kitchen rather than between the two, although I know it’s going to get worse towards the end of the week before the electrics and plumbing are sorted. Do some more DIY tasks with Grand Designs on in the background. Bed at 10pm.
Total: £11.60
Day Seven
6am: Alarm goes off. Child wants to watch 'Choo Choo' (he’s hardcore into Thomas the Tank Engine at the moment). I’m so tired despite a decent sleep – this week is kicking my arse already.
Catch train then bus. At work by 7.50am. Lots of tea needed. £6.70
12pm: I work a half day on Wednesdays. It’s quite a tight turnaround as I have to pick the child up at 1pm, so I have to be very prompt leaving the office in order to catch my train. Sometimes this means leaving work for a colleague to pick up because it’s time sensitive, which I hate doing, but I’ve not got a lot of choice.
I finish my book and spend the rest of the journey browsing H&M Home on my phone. Resist buying anything. £4.70
1.30pm: The electrician is working so the house is a bit chaotic. OH has left a packed lunch for the child in the fridge, like a total hero. I grab it and head straight out again. Buy myself a Tesco Meal Deal (prawn sandwich, crisps and 7Up Zero, £3) and go to catch the train to Sutton. I’ve maxed out my daily cap already, so the rest of the day’s transport is free.
Meet my friend for a walk and a catch-up. She’s in the writing stage of her PhD and gets a little stir crazy being on her own all day, so on Wednesdays I quite often pop over to give her some respite. The weather is lovely so we walk to a local park. Discuss our mutual friend’s wedding in two weeks – the bride hasn’t got her dress yet and it’s stressing us both out!!
4.30pm: Back home for some CBeebies for the child and a cup of tea for me. While the child eats tea, I have a tidy around the house. The child then uses me as a climbing frame and trampoline until Daddy gets home.
10pm: OH and I eat our chicken tikka masala ready meals. OH has also bought some chapattis (£1). I’m so hungry I barely even taste it. I make a list of jobs we need to do on the house next week when my dad’s down to help out. Meanwhile, OH actually does some jobs on the house. In bed at 10pm as usual.
Total: £15.40
The Breakdown
Food/Drink: £94.95
Entertainment: £3
Clothes/Beauty: £45.50
Travel: £44.90
Other: £57.39
Total: £245.74
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