One of the most burdensome tasks in the aftermath of a painful breakup is having to return each other's belongings. Unless you decide to chuck them on a bonfire along with an effigy of your ex and the imagined future you'd projected onto them, most of us will go through this gruelling process at some point in our lives. But one couple, at their end of their own union 12 years ago, decided to take a different tack.
In the bid to soothe their own heartbreak, Olinka Vištica and Dražen Grubišić brought together a selection of the items left over from their four-year relationship and displayed them for the world to see in an exhibition in Croatia. Soon enough, the Museum of Broken Relationships became a fully-fledged museum in the Old Town of Zagreb (and now LA), touring the world in places from London to South Africa, and morphing into something of a worldwide phenomenon.
The pair, having been sent the remnants of affairs gone sour from all over the world, have now curated a new book containing some of the most compelling items. The everyday objects, which range from the minute and seemingly insignificant (dried-up contact lenses, a tiny piece of paper, some candy), to the more obviously momentous (a diamond ring, a wedding veil), the intriguing (a Galileo thermometer, a hand-carved 'Pinocchio dick', a copy of The New Yorker), and the downright anger-inducing (silicone breast implants, a gifted copy of a weight-loss book), are fascinating. If you particularly relish the nitty gritty of other people's relationships and inner lives, the photos and accompanying stories will leave you transfixed.
All images © Olinka Vištica and Dražen Grubišić 2017. Extracted from The Museum of Broken Relationships: Modern Love in 203 Everyday Objects by Olinka Vištica and Dražen Grubišic (Weidenfeld & Nicolson) out now.
Tiny piece of paper
2001 to 2009
Los Angeles, CA
"I am an artist and when my girlfriend and I lived together she would get antsy for my attention when I was working in the other room. One day when I was painting in our room, she came in and slid me a tiny piece of paper that said "pay attention to me." I found it maybe two years after we broke up and it's been in the change compartment of my car ever since."
Wedding dress in a jar
Seven years
San Francisco, United States
"We were together for seven years, five of them married. Our wedding was a small casual ceremony near the ocean on the island where we lived. I wore a silk dress covered in butterflies and flowers that I always thought I'd wear again but never did. He's been gone a year now and I haven't really known what to do with that dress. I hate throwing functional items in landfills but also don't really like the thought of someone else unknowingly walking around in something so representative of my broken dreams. I've put it in this jar because I like recycling but mostly I think it looks beautiful again taking on this new shape. It's a lot less sad when it's not hanging empty on a hanger. Plus I'm sure there's a metaphor to be found there somewhere."
Silicone breast implants
2009 to 2013
Los Angeles, CA and New York, NY
"My ex had convinced me to get breast implants. He would continually comment on how he was a "boob guy" and allude to the idea that my natural breasts were not big enough. At the time I hadn't had enough therapy to tell him to go fuck himself; and over time I began to believe that my breasts were inadequate. I got silicone breast implants which he initially paid for, but then made me pay him back. I had these implants in my body for 5 years. Some of the years with him, and some without. I hated them the entire time.
They not only caused me emotional trauma, but they ended up physically traumatizing me as well. My body rejected them from day one, and in the first year I had two surgeries: one to place them and one surgery for revision. They would not sit properly in my body. In the second surgery, the surgeon decided to detach nearly my entire pectoral muscle from my sternum. I had no idea it had been cut so far and that eventually lead to a rotator cuff injury as well as causing the implants to rise higher and higher on my chest. I looked like I had on an insanely high, hard push up bra on at all times. I finally decided to have the implants removed to reclaim my own natural, beautiful body, and to close the door on any leftover influence that ex had on my life. The removal surgery was arguably more intense than the other surgeries. It was a complete reconstruction of my breasts, as well as having to repair my pectoral muscle. Apparently my pecs were cut, rolled back and sutured by the previous surgeon. So the current surgeon had to undo the sutures, unroll and stretch the pectoral muscle, and then sew it back to the bone. Ouch. I mutilated my body for a man I loved. At the time I loved him more than I loved myself, which I now know is very toxic. You need to love yourself fully and completely before you and truly love another. I am so much happier since having these removed. The surgeon was so surprised and amused by the fact that I wanted to keep these, but how could I not? They have marked such a huge emotional journey for me. Part of me wanted to mail the implants to my ex in a box with a note that said, "I'm finished with these." But as funny as that would be, I think this exhibit seems to be a much better, and a much healthier idea. What a beautiful send off for these two lumps of silicone that caused me so much pain."
Underwater writing tablet
September 2007 to July 2009
Los Angeles, CA
"When I found out my husband was cheating on me, I posted about it on Craigslist. I received dozens of responses but only one wrote that he was going through the same thing. We met and started an affair. He was a scuba diver so I took a course and was certified. We ended up diving together several times around Southern California and in the Caribbean. I used this slate to write him messages and we even took off our masks and kissed underwater. We remained together more than a year after my marriage ended; he was still with his wife when I broke it off but subsequently divorced and remarried. I haven't been diving since."
Pinocchio dick (to wear on nose)
February 2010 to May 2015
Boise, Idaho
"I dated a complete and utter narcissist off and on for five years. He abused me physically, mentally, and emotionally. Just months before he was arrested for assault, his buddy showed up at his shop one night (my ex is a metal forge artist/blacksmith) with a surprise "gift." Nathan (my ex) had been whining about our failing relationship and how he just couldn't control his wild bursts of anger or alcoholism.
Steve listened as Nathan told him from a narcissist's standpoint just how much of a dick he had been. That night at the shop, Steve gifted him a hand-carved Pinocchio dick . . . as Steve put it. "You can wear this every time you are a dick, Nathan." He went on to tell Nathan (right in front of both of us) to remember also to tell me three things every time he screwed up: "You're right. I'm sorry. I love you."
I have no idea how it ended up in the bottom of a box of art supplies, but I recently discovered it.
(P.s. I also ended up with the dog, and while she would be happy to hang out in an art museum for months, I refuse to let her out of my sight for more than a few hours)."
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