During any low point in your life, it's important to have a good circle of family and friends that you can rely on — and that's even more true if you're struggling with your mental health.
If you're going through depression, you may already be getting help from a mental health professional, but having a solid support system is important, too.
Jamie Justus, LCSW, a therapist based in Austin, says that even if you have people you can rely on, asking for help is hard because unfortunately, there's still a stigma around having a mental health condition and needing help.
"They may worry about being experienced as a burden, perceived as weak, or that others will see the illness of depression instead of the person," she says.
Not only can reaching out make people feel vulnerable, Deborah Serani, PsyD, a psychologist in Smithtown, NY, says that sometimes depression itself prevents people from asking for help. Depression can cause people to be fatigued and to isolate themselves, she says, which makes it even harder to talk to people.
"They just don't have the wherewithal to reach out," Dr. Serani says.
As daunting as it may seem, sharing how you feel with someone close to you could be a big step towards recovery. Read on for our expert-backed advice on how to reach out to people when you're at a low point. While these tips aren't meant to be comprehensive, hopefully they'll help you heal.
If you are experiencing depression and need support, please call Mind on 0300 123 3393.
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The friend you'd call for a fun night out may not always be the person you'd reach out to when you need a shoulder to cry on.
"I find that we tend to know how our friends give support," Justus says. "We know who is the funny friend, who is the friend who will really call you out when needed, or the friend who is best at problem solving and giving advice."
In that sense, you probably know who in your life would listen without judging or questioning your depression.
In fact, if you haven't yet looked into mental health professionals, you might be able to talk to someone you trust who can help you find someone.
"Your loved one or friend can help you find the right path to help healing and recovery happen if you can't do that yourself," Dr. Serani says.
Talking to someone via text is better than not talking to anyone at all, but nothing beats IRL face time. That way, Justus says, there may be fewer miscommunications.
The nature of depression, however, means that this might not always be easy, and that's okay.
"I always think talking face to face is a great way to communicate, but sometimes depression makes that feel insurmountable," Dr. Serani says. "If you're depressed and can't get out to talk to someone, you can pick up the telephone and talk about your symptoms with a friend, family member, or professional."
Either way, the goal is that you're not isolating yourself, no matter how tempting it may be.
Asking for help starts with letting people know that you're not doing as well as you'd like— and that might be easier than you think. Dr. Serani suggests starting with something like, "I'm struggling a bit today," or even saying "It's hard to share how I feel right now" if you're having a hard time describing how you're feeling.
Unfortunately, sometimes, not even your closest confidants will respond the way you'd hope. While you shouldn't have to explain yourself, Justus says that you can take this chance to help them understand your struggle a little better.
Justus says you can say something like, "Depression can just come up for some people; there isn't always a clear reason. Instead of trying to fix it, it would be helpful if you could just make sure that we get together or talk more often so that I am getting out of the house more."
Ultimately, if this is someone who cares about you, they'll want to know how they can best help you, and opening up a little about how you feel will hopefully make things easier on the both of you.
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