Self-care is simple; it's about knowing what's good for you and using that information to nourish and tend to your mental health. With no guilt.
One of the toughest days for many people is Sunday. Sure it starts off well; there's brunch, walks in the park, a roast in the pub. But as the day goes on, the pressure of the following week starts to loom. How will I get through the next five days? we worry. How can I possibly manage to do everything I promised myself I'd do?
In times like this, it's important to manage expectations. To remind yourself to be kind to yourself. You're only human, give yourself a damn break.
Most people, without realising, will have crafted some sort of self-care Sunday routine to help alleviate the anxiety of the coming week. Remember, self-care routines can be as trivial as you like; if watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians is your way of getting your mind to finally be still, then so be it. Each to their own.
We asked team Refinery what they do on a Sunday to nourish themselves. Click through to read if you're after some inspiration.
Gillian Orr, Content Director
I've never given much thought to self-care but after a few Sunday evenings watching rather distressing films and documentaries – finishing off my weekend with things like Blue Valentine and a documentary about the Oklahoma bombing on Netflix – I realised it affected my mood and sleep in severe ways. I'd wake up on a Monday feeling drained and, well, slightly depressed.
Now if I'm having a quiet night in on a Sunday, I watch the most easygoing shows and films imaginable: Notting Hill; Friends re-runs. It's a pursuit that won't exactly expand my mind but I find it does help me from losing it.
Illustrated by Elena Boils.
Sadhbh O'Sullivan, Social Media Assistant
Something I think is very interesting is the Audre Lorde quote that is used everywhere about self-care: “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.”
I think it's been taken out of political context – it's meant as preservation for a political fight, not just getting by. Like self-care should be this idea of something that drives you forward, not something that settles you down.
On the flip side, I do like the idea of practical things you can do. Take your meds, make your bed, shower, clean your mirrors, etc. Also, the catharsis of writing lists! To-do lists are so calming on a Sunday.
Illustrated by Elena Boils.
Jess Commons, Health & Living Editor
The most important thing for me is not to care too much how Sunday goes. Try and plan a Sunday rigorously and I'll fail to do even half the things I plan – as a result, that means I feel like I've let myself down for the whole week ahead. So I keep things simple; if someone asks me to go to the pub in the afternoon, I go for it. If I feel like doing yoga and going to bed at 11 o'clock (that's VERY early for me), I do that.
That being said, I do try and spend a few hours out in a café writing every Sunday. It gives me a sense of achievement even if I feel like that week has been a dud. The trick is to stop before I get even a hint of writer's block because it's easier to feel failure on a Sunday afternoon.
Normally, I'll then go home and watch a '90s thriller film (preferably something with Ashley Judd in), eat a massive dinner and try and remind myself not to be too hard on myself over the coming week.
Illustrated by Elena Boils.
Meg O'Donnell, Photo Assistant
I have a washing-up bowl that I use as a foot spa, which helps, and sometimes I have a little sing with my guitar. The problem is I then end up stressing that I can no longer play guitar! So out comes the makeshift foot spa again.
My self-care also involves a really well executed shower, smothering my entire body and face with really thick moisturiser and then getting into a thin, slim-fit onesie (I know..). Sunday will almost always involve mac and cheese and another carb.
Illustrated by Elena Boils.
Louise Whitbread, Intern
I like to do a face mask; either a Tony Moly sheet one or a more luxurious one like Decleor Aroma Cleanse Clay and Herbal Mask. I also wash my hair and use a cuticle oil, like Nails Inc Superfood Repair Oil.
If I do watch something on TV or on Netflix, I go for something lighthearted like Sex and the City, Friends or Empire. I also try to be in bed by 10pm and not look at my phone once I'm in bed. I find it especially important to stay off Instagram discover!
Illustrated by Elena Boils.
Rose Lander, International Co-ordinator
Keeping my anxiety at bay takes a little bit of self-care every day, but there are some days where I need to go all in. When the world feels like it's out of my control, I find making one little space around me just how I like it is the best medicine.
On those days I put my phone away, tidy my room, get into a matching pair of pyjamas and run myself a bath with candles. While I'm in there I love listening to audiobooks or watching movies and TV where I know there's going to be a happy ending; my go-tos are classic Bette Davis film All About Eve or episodes of Location, Location, Location (I know, but it works for me). Control is a trigger to my anxiety so consuming something where everything works out fine without me is very calming.
Eating makes me so happy, but spending money and planning can also make me anxious so Deliveroo is out. Instead I like to treat myself by cooking a big bowl of pasta, setting a fancy table for one and relaxing with exactly what I wanted. My sister has three kids so I know having one day or even just an evening where I don't have to please anyone but myself is a huge luxury I have to take advantage of while I can.
Illustrated by Elena Boils.
Natasha Slee, Social Media Manager
My everyday self-care tactic is keeping my phone on silent permanently, and not having vibrate or sound alerts. The constant buzz/ping of emails made me feel like Pavlov's dogs, and during intense work periods like fashion week, they made me feel very anxious. I check my phone regularly anyway, so I don't miss anything.
On Sundays or days where I feel I need to focus on myself, I do one or two things from my self-care list:
– Give the flat a good clean, which feels like a refresh and helps put me in the right frame of mind for the week ahead.
– Listen to three episodes of Desert Island Discs back to back, while cleaning or walking.
– Avoid TV or sitting on the sofa, and have a bath and go to bed early with a book instead.
– Eat a favourite meal, usually something plain but comforting like a jacket potato.
– Practise mindfulness, then write down anything and everything that is on my mind.
– Call my parents, my grandad, and my gran one after the other while walking outside.
Illustrated by Elena Boils.
Tamar Riley, Marketing Manager
Exercise is important to my mental and physical self-care. I really struggle to get the motivation on a weekend, so I choose to run somewhere like Hampstead Heath where I can feel a million miles away from London.
I put on a hair mask while I run to multi-task. I figure that while I look red-faced and awful, I might as well embrace a gloopy hair look too. I go home to a hot shower and a strong coffee, which feels super rewarding. Socialising is also part of my self-care routine – generally in the form of a pub Sunday roast and large glass of red wine.
Illustrated by Elena Boils.
Anna Jay, Art Director
I love my Sundays. With my boyfriend playing football all morning, I delight in the chance to have the flat to myself and after a hard week, indulge in some quality me-time. This starts with all the crap TV that I miss during the week, as my weeknights are almost always jam-packed. I never go and get my nails done, purely for the reason that I love painting my nails and do it more for the enjoyment than the end result. So while the cast of Made In Chelsea squabble in the background, I'll paint my nails with old favourites (my go-tos are actually a khaki or a navy from American Apparel, but they're discontinued – sad face). Or for something different, I recently tried out a Chrome Kit which was a lot of fun and the results were brilliant.
As well as a home mani, I'll also do a face mask in the form of The Body Shop Himalayan Charcoal Purifying Glow Mask. This tightens the pores and draws out the impurities that are unavoidable when living in London.
Illustrated by Elena Boils.
Sarah Raphael, Editor-at-Large
I wake up as late as possible, mooch around reading the papers and reading out bits I find funny, eat an exciting breakfast like shakshuka made by the bf while listening to Radio 4. I try not to drink coffee at the weekend to give myself a break. I try not to go on Instagram or the internet in general.
I never wear makeup on a Sunday and I try to wear my glasses instead of contacts. By 11.15 I’m hopefully still in pyjamas, lying on a sofa for Desert Island Discs. I do some washing and boring house stuff. I go for a run along the Embankment and around St James’s Park because the light is so nice through the trees. Or I’ll go running with a friend and then get a tea. I might see friends if there’s something going on but really I prefer to spend Sundays “introverting” and seeing one or two people max – I have really busy weeks so I need a slow day.
I might meet my dad for an early dinner as he’s always in London on a Sunday. Then watch a doc or series or maybe the cinema but that’s quite enough excitement for a Sunday. I go to bed early-ish but usually can’t sleep so none of it works anyway.
Illustrated by Elena Boils.Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
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