In last night's BBC One documentary Islam, Women and Me, 28-year-old Mehreen Baig set out to answer a difficult question: Can you be a 'good' Muslim and a strong, independent woman at the same time?
Baig starts at home, where her father enforces a strict curfew on his daughter and demands constant updates on her whereabouts (but not her brother's). Her father's old school reasoning is this: “Whatever our parent, our guardians, our elders said was to be be obeyed.”
Next, Baig turns her attention to marriage. She signs up to MuzMatch, a dating app for Muslims, and meets with three men. It’s clear from her dates that there is no one version of how a 'good' Muslim woman should look or act. Each man has a different opinion on how they would want their wife to behave and dress. One is uncomfortable with the niqab (the face veil that leaves only the eyes visible), while another would expect his wife to dress modestly. What becomes clear to Baig is many of the things expected of Muslim women aren't based on Islam itself, but men's interpretation of it.
If someone tells me that I have to wear it, I’m taking my hijab off. I wear this out of love.
While at dinner with a group of Muslim women, they explain to Baig that it's tiring to defend wearing a headscarf. The majority wear it out of choice, not oppression, they argue. One of them explains: “Of course some women are forced to wear the hijab, but there’s so many other women that haven’t been. If someone tells me that I have to wear it, I’m taking my hijab off. I wear this out of love, this is my identity, and it’s not something I do because my God tells me to do it, everything my God tells me to do, he gives me a choice.”
Later in the programme, Baig sits in on a panel at the Sharia council in Birmingham. Women come there to petition for a divorce. One unidentified woman hasn't seen her husband in five years but he refuses to divorce her. The process is inherently sexist – women have to share intimate details, while their husbands aren't required to attend. A divorce granted under Sharia law is not legal in civil law either.
In her concluding statements, Baig asks: “Why is it that women’s rights in general are almost hidden, and men’s right’s are emphasised?”
Judging by the Twitter reaction to the show, viewers were divided on the merits of the show. Take a look...
Why do all programs on Islam follow this blueprint? Pakistani culture, awkward Asian dating scene, shariah council divorce, crying scene, moment of reflection. Please improve the discourse, because a) this isn’t most of our realities and b) we’re tired AF #islamwomenandme
— Sabeena (@pocobookreader) February 6, 2018
Way to go to compound every stereotype about Muslims, Islam and women with Asian subcontinent culture. #IslamWomenAndMe pic.twitter.com/O81qcOnIcm
— Anisa Subedar (@TheAnisaSubedar) February 6, 2018
Can you be an independent woman and a good Christian? Can you be an independent woman and a good secular worker? Can you be an independent woman and a good mother? Can you (etc). Aaaand Can you be an independent *man* and a good ... Strange. As a man, I never get asked that. Odd.
— Jason Davies (@JasonPtrDavies) February 6, 2018
Powerful stuff by @thequeenmehreen - it’s so important that society & its laws protect women wherever misogyny rears it’s ugly head. It is not acceptable regardless of any real (or perceived) religious belief system #islamwomenandme
— Nick Wood (@nickkwood) February 6, 2018
So interesting to get an inside glimpse of the Sharia Council when dealing with Muslim divorce. Great doc. by @thequeenmehreen #IslamWomenAndMe
— David James Lister (@MlSTERLlSTER) February 6, 2018
I have to say, her dad is also a treasure. Bless him. He just loves her. If I were her I’d let him live under my stairs. ☺️
The show today was something I feel every Muslim household needs to watch & learn from. Massive respect and thank you to @thequeenmehreen & the team for a eye opening show. #IslamWomenAndMe
— Moheeb (@MoheebThirteen) February 6, 2018
Thank goodness Muslim women's desires and needs are being pointed out!! It shouldn't be taboo to acknowledge this!#IslamWomenandMe
— Kanza (@kanzaahmed) February 6, 2018
@thequeenmehreen #IslamWomenAndMe As a vaguely Christian British bloke I found that compelling, informative and excellent education. I also feel for your dad. Good job 😀 and thanks.
— Mike E (@effingpot) February 6, 2018
The question was does Islam prevent independence- my answer- and my answer alone is no it doesn’t. Certainly not for the many independent women like myself- if anything it has taught me independence. That I am not anyone’s property- save Allah’s and I don’t bow to men.
— RepStar (@RepiakaMoni) February 6, 2018
Puzzled by the ending of #IslamWomenAndMe “Ive seen too many women turn into a shadow of themselves when they get married. That won’t be me.” 1. Shame to turn the story of Muslim Women into one of oppressive marriage 2. Domestic abuse of women is rife irrespective of background
— Shelina Janmohamed (@loveinheadscarf) February 6, 2018
Mehreen Baig says she hasn’t met many women who feel empowered by Islam.. my girl needs to get out more 🙄 #IslamWomenAndMe
— Nish (@NishIsmail) February 6, 2018
#IslamWomenAndMe one part I didn’t enjoy was seeing the woman for her divorce in front of a panel and the 2nd party wasn’t there present it’s 2018 why is the the bloke not there? religion and culture is mixed and lost in translation. The panel didn’t even understand times changed
— Alex Aiyub Bhayat (@AlexAiyubBhayat) February 6, 2018
This documentary had nothing to do with Islam, issues were more cultural as with any other culture. Islam promotes equality, women is Islamic History need to be studied. @BBC and Mehreen Baig should have titled your programme 'Confused, Culture and Me' #IslamWomenAndMe
— Rukeiya (@Rukeiya123) February 6, 2018
Islam, Women and Me is now available on iPlayer
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